April 8, 2012

Question:

Adena,

What kind of relationship will I have with L? He seems kind of moody. Overly kind and sweet at times, then the polar opposite.. cold, distant. Will this be the kind of relationship fraught will his insecurity, selfishness, and a "me first" attitude? Or am I just being skeptical? What kind of man is he really and where is his heart?

S

Answer:

Hi S,

I don't think you're skeptical at all. At first glance I was thinking this might have turned out nicely but it didn't. The more I delved the more that came out. He loves being adored and acknowledged. That part I see. I thought that the issues seemed to be about money and commitment, and about starting and then not delivering. Sort of having a lot of excitement, then no follow through. I either believe he had a difficult relationship OR he simply has issues with women when they don't do what he wants them to, or behave the way he wants them to.

There's a lot of regret and sadness that he carries with him. He doesn't want the responsibility of making decisions and I also don't believe he's truthful about what he feels and what he does. I can't say that this would be your entire relationship, but it certainly doesn't bode well for the future. It looks to me as if there is still the issue of someone in his life, whether she is still there or not, he carries her around. If this isn't a previous relationship or that wouldn't make sense to you, then it's possible his mother is a problem because it is certainly 100 percent that L has an issue with a woman that is making it impossible for him to start over in his life right now with you. I hope this helped.

Happy Passover and Easter everyone,
Adena

March 17, 2012

Question:

Dear Adena,

Am from India, I have been experiencing problems in my love life since 2009. We broke up back in 2009. because of some misunderstandings, his friends even tried to convince me about his innocence but I never listened to them. With time I realized that he was innocent, but by that time his fronds stopped contacting me and I never had any source to get in touch with my lover. Will he come back to me & reunite?
Regards

Answer:

Hi,

I think he still wants to. He still thinks of your relationship as the ideal one and the one that made him happy. He thinks you are hurt and not interested in hearing from him, but he believes he is the person for you. I see him as a very persistent and determined person who goes after what he wants. I don't see him as someone who would have his friends ask for him. I see him as someone who would do it himself. I would expect him to show up in your life, and if there is a way for him to know where you are, he will make it his job to be in the right place to contact you. Yes, I do expect you to hear from him. I hope you do, and I hope it's soon. It does appear that he is someone who has deep and strong convictions.

Sending you very good thoughts,
Adena

February 13, 2012

Question:

My name is I and I was with my ex-boyfriend G for a year and two months.We have a baby together. We were in love and but our relationship went sour when I was 5 months pregnant and he broke up with me. I want to know if he still loves me and/if when we'll be together. I feel in my heart that he does, but need your judgment. He's being so cold now.

Thanks so much!!

Answer:

Hi I,

I see more of a friendship in the future than going back with him. At least for a while. While I do see him not allowing himself to feel what he feels for you, or not allowing it to come out, I see it as being a consequence of his desire to not commit more than anything else. You were hurt, and he felt as if he let you down as a man and as a father. He is still too confused about what he wants.

I'm not saying he doesn't love you or won't go back with you, I can tell you that right now I see him wanting to maintain a more platonic connection and while I don't want to appear that I'm holding back on information because I'm not, I do want to say that it's clear there are areas in his life that HE holds back from you. I don't know what those areas are about.

It's because of several reasons that I see this:
1. He doesn't tell you everything about what he's feeling. I realize that's why your asking me :)
2. He still isn't ready for that kind of commitment.
3. He still feels pulled toward you but doesn't really know how to react and respond and doesn't know what to trust yet. His feelings, what you say you feel and act like, and how the entire relationship has played itself out and how difficult it's been for him.

I can tell you that it doesn't seem to be apparent to me that he wants to go back right now. I think if you can have a friendship and co-parent right now, it would be the best foundation for you both until he is a bit more clear about his feelings.
If he is being cold, and I do see him holding back, it's really because he still so unclear about his feelings.

Love,
Adena

January 15, 2012

Question:

Dear Adena,

A few years ago you did a free question answer for me concerning a dear friend. Things went pretty much as you saw, but it's very hard to stop caring about someone who is important to you. So, just a small free question request again. Simple question really, just want to know if you would be able to pick up anything on B just to know if she is okay and if she is doing well, and happy. Nothing in depth or personal, don't need to know that, just if she is okay.

Thanks,

R


Answer:

Dear R,

I hope you see this. I know you wrote it right before Christmas and I didn't answer it on the first of the month. I'd like to answer this now for you.

I remember in great depth the situation. I also know you, and I know you wouldn't want me to ask what she's feeling about you. It's hard to not get personal when you're talking about people and their lives. I didn't go deeply into what's happening, I just took a look but I do see that a relationship she had been or has been in isn't going well and that is something she is unhappy about. I also think she is involved in fixing a home, or buying one and that is making her happy. She is certainly torn about what's going on but essentially she is okay.

She's dealing with a move, and making decisions she's knows are the best and most practical ones. It may not be what she wants emotionally but she's thinking that in the long run they are the best decisions. She's starting over in certain areas of her life (I'm trying not to get too personal) and she's tying up loose ends so that she can move on and have things in her life be much simpler. I do see her being happier in the near future but the things surrounding what brought that on were hard decisions.

She's okay R. I know you care, if you ever want me to ask that other question, I'm here

Love,
Adena